From: Zaw Burma
EMail: bookwormz_99@yahoo.com
From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said,
"One month after I die I want you to marry Mr. Drone."
"Drone! But he is your enemy!"
"Yes, I know that! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A husband visited a marriage counsellor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.
Now after ten years it's all different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.
"Why complain ?" said the counsellor, "You're still getting the same service. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms.
Why, Dad? Tell me why !"
Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, son, she didn't get the fax."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?"
He replied, "I'm going to be a father."
"But that's wonderful," I said.
"What's wonderful ? My wife doesn't know about it yet." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Paul was at home doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, the son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, the son of a bitch is nine."
In that moment, his mother comes in and hears what he is saying. "Paul, what are you doing?! Why are you saying that?!" Little Paul answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." She said, "And is that what your teacher taught you?" Little Paul replied, "Yes."
The next day, the mother, worried about the education her son is receiving, goes to Little Paul's school to talk to the teacher. The mother said to his math teacher, "I would like to know what you are teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition problems.
"Little Paul's mother asked, and are you teaching them to say, 'Two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?'
When the teacher stopped laughing she explained, "Not at all! ... What I taught them was, "Two plus two ... THE SUM OF WHICH IS ... four."
-----------------------------------------------------------
It was a terrible night, blowing cold and rain in a most frightful manner.
The streets were deserted and the local baker was just about to close up shop when a little man slipped through the door.
He carried an umbrella, blown inside out, and was bundled in two sweaters and a thick coat. But even so he still looked wet and bedraggled.
As he unwound his scarf he said to the baker, "May I have two bagels to go, please?"
The baker said in astonishment, "Two bagels? Nothing more?"
"That's right," answered the little man. "One for me and one for Bernice."
"Bernice is your wife?" Asked the baker.
"What do you think," snapped the little man, "my mother would send me out on a night like this?"